... was the title of the email i received this morning from jane. we're going to get crabcakes at the wharf and hit the beach. i don't think either of us were ready to do 90 minutes of yoga in 107 degrees. it looks to be a beautiful day, though.

****

i just bent down to pick something up and i think i'm either still drunk or hung over. geez. i didn't even have that much to drink.

when i got to my computer this morning, i saw the crumbs from the toast i made when i got home last night. that's the thing about late nights drinking .... the munchies. ah well ...

****

scott told me that willie nelson is doing two free shows in ggp in a couple of weekends. although i'm not a huge willie fan, i'm probably going to go. he's getting old, and he won't be performing forever. i missed johnny before he left us. can't miss willie.

****

last night, the girls and i talked about starting a food/wine/recipe blog. i had sort of started my own restaurant blog, cuz many friends and colleagues often ask me for recommendations. i have probably been to more restaurants in the city than the average person. it seemed the perfect idea to document this somewhere. since i started it, however, i haven't done much updating. i'm not sure why .... i think a group blog is the way to go, though, as jane suggested. we may have one that's for music, too.

****

a friend sent me this the other day. freaking hilarious.

so i just got in not long ago and what's the first thing i want to do ... blog.

there were a couple notable things about tonight ....

1. it was the first night i hung out with sarah. jane and willo had gone to see rainer maria and i invited her to go to dinner with kat, jonas, and dave. we had a great time!

2. it was the first night i had seen jonas since .... we went out on a couple of dates and weren't feeling it. it was good to see him. i think he may turn out to be a good friend, possibly, or at least an art buddy. i told him that the goldsworthy in sd was great. i sensed a little jealousy.

i had a meeting at my house with sue this morning. i was going to head into work after that, but in light of issues that arose in the morning, the meeting i was planning to attend in the afternoon became temporarily moot. this is good and bad. it's good cuz i worked from home today. no commute = automatically good day. it's bad cuz now i have work to do over the weekend, cuz i know that i'll be swamped on monday and i have to leave at 5 on tuesday for radiohead.

****

doug suggested i join a mailing list/list serve at work so that i could get more info about this financial planning stuff. i got loads of email in response. then, i had a brilliant thought: i should post that i'm looking for a surfboard! within minutes, i got a response from a woman who is selling a 8'10", once used, ding-free board for the LOW price of $150 obo. yowza! i could hardly believe it. i'm going to check it out on monday night. hopefully it's not too good to be true. in any case, this made my friday.

****

i had the strangest dream last night/this morning. i woke up late again, but luckily sue called to tell me that she was on her way over. anyway, in this dream, i was teaching again. i recognized a couple of my students from new jersey in the dream. it was weird cuz although i was definitely in nj, there were a couple of teachers from my last school in sf. anyway, i was on some sort of trip with the students, cuz i had dorm-like facilities. i was talking to one of my students about how i got into surfing and was going to costa rica in november. odd. there was also a guy in my dream, who i saw on the street yesterday. i dunno who he is, but i guess he left an impression.

****

i've been listening to the bowie this afternoon, and i like it more and more. i have yet to listen to the *previously unreleased* songs on the second cd. i'll have to keep an eye out for the tix in sj.

****

i was surprised to see that jane had posted something about our (not-so-)secret girls' night blog. ah well ... i was being cautious about publicizing that. anyway, i have found it extremely helpful lately. got a lot of shite on my mind that i need to address somehow.

****

i'm waiting for willo to arrive with jane and sarah. we're all going over to matt's for friday evening cocktails. those guys are going to a show tonight, but i'm going to come home and finish up some work so that tomorrow can be free. jane and i are going to yoga and then probably the beach. i'm so glad we're going to yoga. it's such a great thing to do and i haven't done it in such a long time. sunday night, i'm going out on the town with a long-lost-newly-found friend, sherrett. we might hit the fps party, featuring mixmaster mike at dna.

sunday, i'm going to help with crush for a guy i met through tribe.net. i guess he and his wife are winemakers. i've always wanted to do that, so it's cool that he's even in potrero. after that, i'm going down to palo alto for a picnic. after the picnic, i have my violin lesson. then, i race back to the city to have dinner with peterand hit the closing night of resfest. i can't believe it's already been a year since the last one. wow. i'm in a different place now.

i'm looking forward to a great weekend.

****

today it occurred to me that i am more like my mother than i thought. hopefully, i won't make the same mistakes.

i am always learning something new from friends. these latest nuggets, in response to my mention of martinis yesterday, are courtesy of sarah. i think she's trying to show me up cuz she went to that other school in cambridge. :)

up = chilled with no ice.
on the rocks = obviously, with ice.
neat = served room temp.
dry = a little dry vermouth
sweet = a little sweet vermouth (more commonly used in manhattans)
perfect = half dry/half sweet vermouth
"pass the bottle" - a smart ass way to say "no vermouth". Really pretentious bartenders will make the motion of passing the vermouth bottle over the glass without pouring any.

****

i'm WFH again today. now i REALLY want to find a job in the city.

lanha's finally put her jump pics online. hilarious.

some people's words can pierce you so quickly and unexpectedly that you are left without a response, and more importantly, without hope.

i think my ceramics skills -- if that's even an appropriate word -- are deteriorating. last week i had a horrible class and barely made one piece. tonight, i trimmed it, and half way through that process i noticed that i had a huge airbubble in the base. yikes. luckily, it's got a pretty thick foot on it. hopefully it'll be fine.

as i was signing and dating it, i had that empty feeling again. i didn't start having that feeling until i started making pieces specifically for people. i decided that this one would be for my sister. hopefully it doesn't crack during firing.

i did throw a couple of other pieces, and depending on how i trim one of them, it will be a wedding gift for a woman i know for work. i recently noticed that she likes or collects asian ceramics. i'll probaly put something hokey like the korean word for 'love' on the bottom of it.

****

earlier today, i practiced my violin with a sock underneath my chin.

****

as i drove home tonight through the short stretch in the projects, i saw a woman talking on a cell phone. she was jay walking across the street, in the direction of a guy, who was also talking on a cell phone who stood on the corner. i thought it would be funny if they were talking to each other.

****

i thought about making myself a martini when i got home. i used to drink a lot of cosmopolitans. raspberry stoli cosmopolitans. i've recently switched to kettle one martinis, up with olives. ironically, i only just learned what the "up" part of that drink meant. no vermouth. hmm... i don't even remember why i started ordering it like that. i have never tried straight vermouth, and little bit that's in a non-up, so i guess "down" martini is hardly noticeable.

i like making martinis at home. patrick and dave got me a shaker for my housewarming last year, and it has been put to good use. jim and paul got me beautiful martini glasses for the same occasion. martinis also give me an excuse to eat olives.

having a martini at home is more favorable than wine, in a sense. with wine, i never end up finishing a bottle on my own, which is probably a good thing, but the wine that i get for every day drinking is still not that cheap. i don't like to waste good wine. surprisingly, two buck chuck is not bad and guilt free in this respect.

****

i talked to my herbalist today. he asked me how i was feeling and then the usual battery of questions. he seemed pleased as it appears that i've made some progress. i told him about having the rabbit sugo pasta and how that didn't seem to be agreeable with me yet. there wasn't even that much meat in it. maybe i'll be a sea-vegan for the rest of my life. i love fish, so that's fine, but mom's kalbi ... mom's spicy pork.... good thing she's coming next week with more meds.

****

i think things are going to start to get weird at work ... and it's not just in my group. yikes.

was what she said this morning. oh brother. i guess i can't complain though. i had a painless day, did a little reading, and didn't get picked.

when i arrived at the courthouse, i realized that i had not been there before. i think i would have remembered the security checkpoint and sign about visiting the inmates.

****

i started reading the artist's way, a book recommended by scott. i only got through part of the first chapter, but it said that there were two exercises i had to make sure to do. the first is morning writing. i'm supposed to do 3 pages of longhand writing, uncensored. it should be a stream of consciousness and basically anything i'm thinking about at that point in time. at first, i thought, 'great. i'll just write in my blog.' then, i read further and it turns out, no one's really supposed to read this stuff, not even me. that's not the point.

we'll see how it goes. it's kind of preachy so far... lots of talk about *God*. luckily, she has a somewhat clever equivalent: good orderly direction. i can buy that.

****

i am unexpectedly going to radiohead on tuesday. how cool!

****

last night, as i was talking with sherrett, i mentioned that san francisco has an inordinately high number of people who have never been married. i couldn't remember to exact figure, so i had to look it up today.

305k reported never been married. 770k total population (2001). i think that's weird.

****

i gotta drive down to ceramics. hopefully tonight will be better than last week.

i have to go to the court house tomorrow. i actually got called in. i can't believe it. last year, i got away without going in at all. i'm a little annoyed, but i'm also a little interested. i've never been to the court house. i' have been to court, but i don't think it's the same kind as the one i'll go to tomorrow. wait ... now i'm trying to remember where i went to court. i don't think it was 7th and bryant. hmm... my memory sux.

****

tonight, i went to see not one, but two financial advisors. i almost asked them why they were doubleteaming me, but i didn't. jeff and gabriel (goodhart -- too bad it wasn't 'heart', as he seemed like a nice guy) talked with me for a little over an hour. at the end of it, they said that for the low low price of $700, they would give me a financial plan and help me for a year. hmmm.... i'll have to investigate if this is actually competitive.

when they asked me what i wanted to achieve, i had the same lame answer as before. "i'm not sure." doesn't make me feel very bright ... i think i should probably have a better answer than that after two degrees.

****

jee bailed on dinner tonight, so i thought about what i should do. i considered a few options. i could go home and do work. i could call rebecca and see if she was around. i could go to tower to get bowie's new album and then eat alone at tin pan. i opted for a mix of the second and third options.

i called rebecca. no answer. so, i decided to go to tower. as i was parking my car, she called, and we made plans to meet up after i got the bowie. i picked her up at eileen's and we went to chez maman. i had the same meal (sans the dessert crepe) as i had on sunday. i love nicoise.

i listened to her stories about *training* for her new job -- selling closets -- and the aggravation of being overqualified and having to listen to someone speak patronizingly about how to calculate percentages. ugh. thank god i have a job for which i'm underqualified.

****

so i've been listening to this bowie and it's REALLY GREAT. it completely makes up for his last one -- heathen -- which i never grew to like. i think i already love this one... or maybe i was just eager for new music and open to something. perception is often more powerful than truth.

****

tonight, i talked to a friend i hadn't talked to in probably 10 years. we chatted for a while .... and i will get my drinks.

i just found this article on yoko ono.

i wasn't much of a fan ... not sure i'm one today ... but my appreciation of her work definitely grew when i went to see the yes yoko ono exhibit at the sf moma several months ago.

i'm having my ginormous cup of coffee, as i normally do every day when i make it at home. it's probably the equivalent of 4 shots + foamy soy milk. i have been trying to keep my daily caffeine intake to just this. although i'm not sure that caffeine is all that bad for me, probably anything that i was consuming that much of before recently, couldn't be good. at least cutting down makes me feel healthier.

i am really temped to work from home today. i have one *meeting*. it's a group meeting. we have clement mok as our guest lecturer, or whatever. it could be interesting. but so could working from home.

i have an appt with the financial advisor tonight at 6pm in the financial district. i'd have to leave work around 4 to get there on time. also, i just got a meeting scheduled for 1pm on friday, which means wfh on friday is out. i should really stay home today.

dinner with jee tonight should be good. we're going to cafe tiramisu. i haven't been there, but it's on one of the cutest streets in sf, belden. b44 and plouf are right next door. there are several other little cafes there, as well, and during sunny days, it feels like you're in paris.

i haven't seen her in a while and our conversations are usually saturated with talk about *LIFE*. i think she might think more about this than i. maybe it's just something about jee's. or maybe i'm just making up for all the time that i never thought about what i was doing, if i was happy in my life, and if i wanted anything to change or improve. who knows. who cares. i'm happy now.

****

annoyingly, i'm still thinking about that damn test i took last night.

****

rick found an apartment in regents park in london. i'm definitely going to visit him in the spring. i have to find a way to make the vacation days work. it's been too long since i've crossed the pond. maybe i'll stop in ny on the way out, too.

this looks interesting

i've finally updated some of the listings on the right. i have to be better about that.

i'm sitting in my white eames rocking chair. it was one of the first things i bought for this apartment. when i decided to move out of the haight, i thought it was time to gets some real furniture. that is, furniture that didn't come from a rectilinear package or required assembly with an allen wrench. i abandoned almost everything i had in the old place, except for a dresser. it was the first time i left things on a side walk, taped with *FREE* signs. they were gone within minutes.

this chair was not always a rocker. i got it with a pair of elephant grey ones. i replaced the bases on all of them. since the white one was solo, i made it even more unique with the rocking base. it looks light and airy since the wood on the base is a light color.

soon after these purchases, i became a total furniture whore and avid ebay user. it was kind of sick actually. i think i've been in every shop that carries mid-century modern or danish furniture. this is not to say that i'm materialistic. once i furnished my place, i was done. it was symbolic for me to do this, to buy things that i would want to keep and enjoy for my lifetime.

****

i told asanta that it feels different being 32. i'm not sure why. last year was a horrible year for 32 yr old men. hopefully this year isn't bad for 32 year old women.

****

i got one of the nicest compliments today: there is no question that you're the greatest chick in the world.

****

someone told me that i should take this test. when i looked at it, i thought it was a lame test. having been a teacher, i have strong opinions about what makes a good test, and ones containing true/false or yes/no, as is the case this time, usually indicates a weak test. i mean, is anything really all that black or white? i usually see the grey.

i told him i would take it. this is my score.

i don't have the need to classify myself. i don't think it's very useful. i think it's important to know yourself well, to be able to predict how you'll feel about things, etc. maybe this is obvious. however, i don't need to include myself in a group or category. this is not to say i dislike people and always want to be alone. but, isn't lumping yourself into a group counter to what it means to be an individual?

i just got an email today about volunteering at the TED conference. heidi works for the guy who owns it, and i'm hoping that i'll get a peek at the conference by volunteering. it's better than waiting for an invitation and paying $4k.

i just got back from a session with asanta. yep. it was hard. i drag my feet when i walk; it's usually due to laziness. tonight, i'm just tired. i'm also eating a chocolate chip cookie. just half.

****

so i've had another it's-such-a-small-world-moment recently. ernest, a friend from work, recently reunited me, albeit electronically, with a friend i haven't talked to in probably over 10 years. hopefully, he'll make good on the drinks (i think it's at least 6) that he owes me from over the years, soon.

****

i just saw that MTT is going to be conducting mahler's 4th while mom is in town. mahler's 4 ... don't really know it ... but what's intriguing is that there are works from some contemporary korean composers on the playbill as well. i'm not particularly attached to my ethnicity and it's related culture. however, i think it might be interesting to learn more about it.

mom's visit may be saturated with culture; i'm also planning to do the moma on friday night.

****

still no confirmation on the costa rica camp. i'm getting a little worried, but i'll follow up tomorrow.

****

i finished my herbal meds last night. i have nothing to take until mom arrives. i'm not sure how i feel about that.

****

this week has been filled with accidents, too. aside from tilda on friday night and patrick and anna on sunday afternoon, rebecca and scott almost had one on the way home on sunday from my house. one of the guys had one yesterday on the way to work. sue's car broke down at the intersection of 280 and 380 this morning on the way to work. robyn got a flat tire at 80 mph this morning, too.

i should stay home tomorrow. too bad i didn't get selected for jury duty.

a dating story is coming to sf. yet another reality show.

today was hectic. i woke up late, scrambled to get some work done before heading in, and then had meetings for 80% of the day.

of course i was also preoccupied, which didn't help things. at 7pm, when i was being imed by three people simultaneously about the same issue, i decided to call it quits. i went to the gym and had a long run. that was exactly what i needed. of course i'll be up past midnight, i'm sure, doing work.

i called tilda on the way home to see how her dr's appt was and if they had determined if she needed surgery. apparently, she fractured something behind her patella, and they will do a CT scan in the next couple of days. great. she's not sure if surgery is going to be needed. fortunately, her mother is flying in from turkey tomorrow night. she sounded well, though. it might have been the vicoden.

i caught up with my friend jee, after that. we're going to have dinner on wednesday, after my appt with the financial planner.

****

who wants to see BOWIE in san jose on jan 27? tix aren't on sale yet, but i'd love to see him again. who knows if good seats will be reasonable, but i'm definitely going to look into it.

i should have done some work over the weekend. i didn't do enough. now, i'm going to have to cram in a couple hours tomorrow morning. not looking forward to it.

i'm going to have a busy week, but at least i don't have to go in for jury duty tomorrow. actually, that may give me the respite i need to catch up a bit.

i am meeting asanta on tuesday night. i haven't seen her in a long while and it'll be good to get in the last two training sessions i still have with her. i need to build up my upper body strength for the surf trip. i just saw the site for a different surf camp in costa rica. i'm actually wondering if sarah and i should have looked into that one instead. i'm sure i'm just second guessing. i gotta stop that.

sometimes you see things that you just wish you hadn't seen. i just had one of those moments.

last week i was going through the *angry* phase, and now i'm embarking on the *sad* one. i hate this cuz it makes me question everything all over again.

i got WORKED in the ocean today. i was supposed to go to the surf exhibit at the san jose museum after my violin lesson this morning, but everyone flaked on it, so i headed back into the city.

scott and rebecca were going to go surfing, so i tagged along. man, the waves sure look small from the beach, but they sure were HUGE and unforgiving when i was in the water. it's ok, though, cuz sometimes you just have to get out there.

the drive down 1 to linda mar was incredibly foggy. pacifica is the foggiest city in the bay area and it maintained its reputation today. luckily, by the time we got to the beach, the fog had cleared. i think i was only out there for an hour or so, but there were seemingly never ending sets of waves, and it took all that i had to keep my head above the water. it was incredibly windy and the undercurrent was super strong, as well. it reminded me of pacific beach, except the water was cold.

anyway ... i'm glad i went out. it's good to be humbled by the ocean sometimes.

we ran into a couple of friends of rebecca and scott's, anna and patrick. they're pretty cool. anna had just started surfing a couple of months ago and is also looking for a board. after a little adventure trying to find a fish and chips place in pacifica that happened to be closed when we arrived, we decided to head back into the city to the liberties. rebecca was a little worried about leaving the boards on her car, but i was convinced we'd find parking right in front of the place.

as we drove down guerrero to the restaurant, we saw what appeared to be not one, but two spaces in front. that's the power of positive thinking. :) we called patrick and anna to tell them that there was a space for the other car and waited for their arrival. although we saw them pass and we knew that they were turning around, it took them a really long time to get to the bar. we joked that they must have got into an accident or maybe the board flew off the car. turns out that they actually DID have an accident. they were rear ended. yikes.

scott is convinced that we are the accident inducing trio. first tilda and now anna and patrick. he's a little concerned that we might wreak havoc in new york together. scott's thinking about going cuz i told him i had a place to stay in the west village. we'll see. it'll be fun either way, cuz kat's probably going to make it there at the same time, as well.

i gotta hop into the shower now. i'm having dinner with matt, a friend i met at willo's party. he's the one who did the gamble house site.

unfortunately after dinner i have to do some work. i should have done it yesterday, but i never motivated enough to get much done.

****

willo posted some pics from friday night.

Word of the Day for Sunday September 14, 2003

confluence \KON-floo-uhn(t)s\, noun:
1. A flowing or coming together; junction.
2. The place where two rivers, streams, etc. meet.
3. A flocking or assemblage of a multitude in one place; a
large collection or assemblage.

****

i'm going to my violin lesson - i'm going to be late - and then hitting the end of a brunch at ami's. a bunch of us are going to the surf exhibit at the sj museum.

****

i was just talking to lanha about some of my friends and the drama they've had in their romantic relationships. she and i have friends in different parts of the country, but she seems to think that majority of her friends who are in *stable* relationships are outside of the bay area. it's not even in california, as even her friends in la have better relationships than the ones up here.

it's strange, really, as this seems to be a case when nurture supercedes nature. she's convinced that it's the bay - area - silicon - valley - egoiste - nomadic - attitude of the area is the primary influence for this behavior. maybe.... i'm not sure. i still hold that i'm a pretty stable person. she had no comment, but she's also heard about my drama for the last 10 years.