rebecca and i went to linda mar. it was unsurfable. we had one of those days where you just look at the ocean and appreciate it for what it is. it was like that guy in step into liquid said ... what other sport has athletes who enjoy looking at the playing field?

the tide was really low and we walked along the beach for a while. i had never seen live star fish before, and today they were plentiful. there were loads of partially eaten dungeoness crabs, too. it was like a water cemetary. kind of creepy, but kind of cool.

i sometimes forget it's the *ocean* and that it has amazing wildlife.

around 5, i was getting hungry and rebecca suggested we go to scott's. they were watching the game and were going to go out later. we headed over there with hummus, pita bread, olives, and white wine. we definitely stepped it up a notch from their case of bud bottles and italian sausage. the bonus was learning how to light coals for the bbq. a new skill. always good to have.

i'm heading out to dinner with jee now. we're going to the last supper club. then, it's over to the orbit room for some drinks for spencer and han's bday. i'll probably hit sadie's after that for some belated bday drinks for scott with rebecca and the crew.

hopefully, we'll be able to wake up early to hit bolinas tomorrow morning. maybe even yoga will be in my future.

it's so warm out tonight. i'm going out in a skirt and a sleeveless shirt. no jacket. flipflops. my boots were too warm. amazing. i wish it would be like this all year round.

jane just drove by. i think people like seeing me in my window, typing away at my computer. it's kind of nice, actually, to know people in a city.

i just got back from the pumpkin patch with jane. we ran into ashley and kevin there before hitting the corn maze. we picked up a few pumpkins and headed back. i was deliberating about yoga. it is so hot today and the thought of being indoors is not very appealing.

i called rebecca and we're going to go surfing in a bit. i have a lot of time before dinner with jee tonight, so i think it'll be fine. i'm psyched to go, cuz i am not sure what's going on tomorrow. i'd like to go to santa cruz, but i dunno if i'm going to be motivated. i have to check to see if the surf exhibit in sj will be around next weekend.

i'm going to petaluma with jane to get pumpkins and walk through a corn maze. i'm such a push over.... actually, i'm looking forward to catching up with jane in person.

i guess the oil change, rivers and tides, and errands will have to wait. she promised to do yoga with me this afternoon, so i guess i'll finally get back to it.

****

today's word of the day: recidivism \rih-SID-uh-viz-uhm\, noun;

A tendency to lapse into a previous condition or pattern of behavior; especially, a
falling back or relapse into prior criminal habits

i needed that one a few weeks back.

on the way home from work, i was thinking about what i had written about my dad. he's not senile. he's just getting older.

****

i decided to play my violin tonight. i haven't touched it for a while. i was thinking about that tonight, too. sometimes i really enjoy it, but then when i stop doing it for a while, i forget. i guess that's the case for most things.

i'm glad i picked it up tonight, though. it felt good to cut my nails, tune it, and play the octaves. they didn't sound as bad as i thought they would.

i'm supposed to start on the second movement of the bruch. i'm not sure what it's supposed to sound like. i'll have to listen to the cd.

****

i have to do my self-evaluation for work. ugh. i'm not looking forward to it at all. i hate talking about my *accomplishments*. i don't really feel like i have too many this year. i'll have to think about it some more.

****

these always make me smile.

i am still at work, but i just got back from the gym. i haven't worked out since last tuesday, i think, and my body was dying for a good sweat. i need to detox from my trip.

as i was leaving the gym, someone turned on the volume from one of the televisions. i rarely watch tv, but when i see one on, it MESMERIZES me. it's kind of embarrassing, actually. anyway, it was a show about high school and dennis miller seemed to be a teacher. he said something like "who wants to multiply these two binomials?" it's been years since i heard "binomial". then he scolded the girl at the board for not *foiling*. wow.

this reminds me of another overheard conversation last week. i was sitting in the invasiv studios ... minding my own biz, when damon and geoff started talking about "dot products", "transformations", and "matrices". wow. who knew that there was actually an application for multivariable calculus?! apparently, they're all over the place in the gaming world. damon and geoff are game programmers. they specialize in 3D sorts of games, i think. it made me smile to hear those terms and others used in conversation.

****

on the way to newark the other day, i shared a monorail car with five people. two of them were definitely jerzey guyz. they must have used "bro" at least 50 times in the 4 minute ride to the terminal. one of them had on a pair of gucci loafers; i wouldn't have known they were gucci except for the double g pattern all over them. scarily, he looked like he could be one of my ex-boyfriend's cousins.

****

i remember the first time i realized that my dad was getting older. it must be about 5 yrs ago now. it was around his birthday. he had opened his gifts and brought them upstairs into my parents bedroom.

later that evening, he couldn't remember where he had put them. he actually thought he might have thrown them away. they were underneath my parents' sleigh bed. i think he puts a lot of things there, actually.

lately i've been empathizing with him. there are things i notice and want to remember so that i can record them somewhere. it's usually here. however, it sometimes takes days for me to remember. i wonder why that is.

****

i'm really looking forward to a mellow night. i haven't decided what i'm going to do tomorrow yet. surfing might be the best bet, although i know it's going to be crowded everywhere. maybe i'll go to bolinas.

however, i was just reminded that rivers and tides is showing at the red vic and i think i need to see that.

i had a good night at ceramics. i was pleasantly surprised by the glaze on the piece i made for jin, jim, and zoe. the underside of it has a cool effect.

i trimmed a couple of other pieces -- both will be gifts. i glazed two others -- again gifts. i threw one piece today that i'll give to my mom probably. it's different from the others i've done in the past. it looks more like a gourd since the neck is more narrow than the base. i'd like to do more of those.

i'm so not looking forward to going to work tomorrow.

weird, the light in my living room just fell from the ceiling. i don't really feel like cleaning this up rigt now.

pictures from new york...

saturday day @deitch for ryan's show, more art
saturday night @17 home, @the hole, @(can't remember anymore....)
sunday @stormking
monday @fresh for scott's birthday
wednesday @team hp's for smart girls dinner

more about wednesday afternoon activities ...

sylvia and i met up on wednesday afternoon to see a show. it was the first time i had ever used the discount tix booth in times square and i was amazed at the huge line. luckily, sylvia had gotten there early and was already at the front of the line when i arrived. we went to see the boy from oz, a musical that just opened last week. it's about the life of peter allen, a singer/songrwriter from australia who used to be married to liza minelli and died of aids.

hugh jackman played the leading role and he was quite good. he played the ambivalent gay man convincingly and who knew he could sing. i've actually never seen any of his movies, but his latest ones are xmen, xmen 2, and kate and leopold.

i had to get ready for dinner, so sylvia and i weren't able to chat much. luckily, we had some time before the performance to share a bowl of soup and talk a bit. she's really inspiring to me.

she's still taking her piano lessons, playing bridge 4 times a week, doing tai chi and aerobics, painting, and travelling. this is all in addition to being an active theatre goer. i hope i am has active as she is at 70. i actually don't know how old she is. i'm just guessing ... but she looks great.

*****

more about smart girls...

the smart girl in residence (souris) hosted a dinner for me, jane, and robin. jane lives in berkeley and we seem to have a lot of mutual friends, but had only just met for the first time last night. it was great to finally meet her and i hope to hang out again soon.

robin's a friend of jane's who was introduced to lanha a while ago. robin's doing her phd in ai and games at northwestern. funny how we all have these little connections to each other.

dinner was good. i got a few different kinds of cheese, made a vegetable risotto and prepared some fish (salmon and halibut). we ate well and chatted about smart girl stuff - games, dream jobs that would allow us multiple homes (nyc, sf, tokyo, and la), relationships ... the usual.

we went for a couple of drinks at the passerby with danny and silvio. it was a cool little bar that had a floor similar to the one on the 80's show - dance fever with denny terrio (sp?). the tiles lit up in different colors, at random times.

around 1, we hit the road. when i got back to cornelia street, wook called. he had just gone to see superchunk. we met up at boxers for a drink and ended up closing the bar. it somehow became 4am without us knowing. i guess that's what happens when you meet up at 2, though. this is what i love about new york (and being on holiday).

i had to get up at 8.30 to pack and clean up a bit. ugh. i could barely motivate to get up. i didn't really want to leave and i considered staying through the weekend. jane and robin will be in ny until monday, i think, and it would have been fun to hang out with them some more.

however ... i'm excited to go to ceramics tonight.

i made it to the airport, and slept for most of the flight. i was only woken up when the flight attended called me "sir" and asked if i wanted lunch. uh, i knew i was beat up but i didn't think i looked like a guy. she tried to shrug it off with something about the light being in her eyes (i was in the window seat).

just finished having dinner with the smart girls (plus silvio, who didn't dress in drag, but was really quiet as he promised) ... more on this later ... pics, too.

i set my alarm for 8.30 on sunday. scott and i were supposed to be at lanha and silvio's by 10. at 9.30, souris called and said that it was cold and probably raining up there. i wanted to take my chances.

scott and i headed over there and david and elena showed up shortly afterwards. the six of us went to stormking, and i'm glad we went. it was surreal. there were acres of rolling, treelined hills with sculptures scattered about. some more interesting than others, but there were more than just calders.

it was misty and cold, but it was a decent day to walk around. i have a ton of pictures from the day. i have to organize them a bit.

we got back to the city around 6. scott and i headed back to the west village. over gelato, we contemplated going to a movie. nothing really struck us, so we decided to take a nap. i was exhausted from sat night and the day of walking. we laid in bed and talked until 9. i must have fallen asleep. the next time i looked at the clock it was nearly 9 the next morning. i had to get up to work.

one of the requirements of my working at the office was that i had to wear a skirt. there are 8 employees, and 7 would be there. all men. souris's the only girl there and she dresses like a tomboy.

so, i kept my promise and wore a skirt (to my knees) and boots. funny. silvio said that was the first thing he noticed. he he

it was cool to work in the office that day cuz it seemed like a real company. i'm really proud of those guys...silvio, souris, and david. it's great that they're following their dream.

we had a quick bite at a local deli for lunch. i had planned a dinner for scott's bday and i wanted to have an appetite. young, souris, silvio, david, scott, and i went to fresh. it was a few blocks away from the office. it was definitely spendy, but the food was good. service could have been better (they broke a glass and souris had to ask for her coke 4 times), but it was alright.

after dinner, we went to get a drink at odeon. wook came by and it was nice to see him again.

i'm glad scott decided to share his birthday with us. i've gotten to know him pretty well during this trip. i really didn't know him very well before, and i wasn't sure how it would be for either of us. i was trying not to be overzealous about his spending time with us. i know that it could be intimidating to spend time with me and my friends when he didn't even really know me very well. it all worked out, though, so that's good.

after the odeon, scott and i went out for a couple more drinks at boxers on barrow. it's around the corner from hani's and it was a mellow place, exactly what we needed. we talked some more about life and relationships. dealing with change and the places we were both at in our lives now.

****

today, scott and i spent the better part of the day apart. i did a little shopping in soho. he hung out with young. we met up in the afternoon to go to jussara's place and then walked back to hani's.

it was beautiful out today. i didn't need a jacket and i couldn't believe how lucky i have been with the weather.

after scott left for the airport, i went back out and did some more walking. i dunno how women walk around in heels all day. my feet were aching in my flat soled boots. i did walk quite a bit, though; all over the lower part of manhattan, through little italy and chinatown, soho, and the west village.

walking in those neighborhoods brought back floods of memories when i used to live in nj and hang out in the city with my exboyfriend. i am trying to make new memories for myself in nyc, and taking trips back here in the last few years has helped. i wonder, though, if i'll ever really disassociate my old relationship with this city.

tonight, i met up with heg. it was great to see her. she's like family to me. we can talk easily in spite of the fact we don't do a great job at keeping in touch when we're apart. we had a long dinner at annisa.

it was funny cuz when i arrived and checked in to the reservation, she asked me if i was waiting for jee. shortly after i sat down at the bar, the chef came by and told me that they were expecting another jee park who is the wine and food critic for the cbs morning news. she said that i resembled her, too. funny. who knew. sounds like she's got a great gig.

heg arrived a few minutes later and we sat down for a luxurious meal. we both enjoy good food and neither of us had been there before. i started with a trio of lobster (prepared three ways) and then had a delicious sable and tofu dish in a miso broth for my main. heg started with the foie gras and had another fish entree. we had bread pudding and mochi for dessert. yum.

i gave her a small piece i had made in ceramics. she seemed to like it a lot. i'll have to make her a more functional one soon.

****

tomorrow, i'm meeting up with jonathan for lunch and then heading to times square to see sylvia for a show. in the evening, i'm cooking dinner for the girls at souris and silvios. we're going to head out for a drink afterwards. should be a good time.

then, i'll have to pack and get ready to return to sf. i'm getting back in the early afternoon, so i can rest before going to ceramics. i'm looking forward to that, too.

****

being in new york has been good for me. it's been interesting to do the working in new york thing. riding the subway, walking to work, being part of the hustle of the city. i've been lucky with the weather; i know it can't be like this all the time.

i haven't talked to many random people; just one old queen near christopher street. he was a sweet old man who found it interesting that i was visiting from sf. he had been in ny for about 30 yrs. he was originally from portland.

i dunno how i'd feel living here again. part of me feels like it's an unhealthy lifestyle; i haven't worked out at all since i've been here, but i was probably kidding myself when i packed the stuff for the gym. i did pass by a gym today where i saw a 12 yr old boy hitting a heavy bag. i was jealous.

i didn't hit any of the museums today and i'm half thinking of doing the el greco tomorrow morning at 9.30. maybe i'll do it. i dunno. i'm not all that motivated right now. maybe i should run instead. who knows.

****

young's got a show in la in a few months. i'm going to try to check it out. it's funny, cuz he's the artist who does all the suitman stuff. i have this insert from a tokion mag that i thought was funny. basically, it's something you cut out and assemble that makes a guy who is wearing a black suit. i noticed the korean on it, and thought it was clever. i have it hanging in my cube. it turns out that young's the guy who's behind it all. small world that he knows scott and lanha. my world is definitely getting smaller and smaller.

it's day 5 in ny and i haven't written much about my trip yet. i worked on friday and monday and it was nuts. since i had plans after work on both days, and since i just decided to try the dialup service at hani's, i haven't had a chance to write much. however, i want to record the trip, so i'm going to start writing bits about it.

****

friday, i worked from invasiv. their studio is really beautiful. hardwood floors, about 3000 sq ft, high ceilings, partial views of the river. they are still finishing up the interior, but it's pretty cool already. the desks are all lined up along the windows and souris and david's space is separate from the designer's.

it actually started to rain on friday night as we were leaving the office. souris, silvio, and i went to get a bite to eat at a small resto which had great crepes and soup. afterwards, we decided to hit the etnies party for a bit. the wife of some guy who i didn't know, but apparently is well known, was showing her photographs at the etnies's showroom. when we got there, it was already full of skaters and the like. it could have been an sf party.

after silvio finished his red wine in a styrofoam cup, we left. it wasn't really very interesting and we were all pretty tired from the week.

we went back to their house on 21st street and watched camp jim episodes that souris had tivoed and a movie: matrix 2. camp jim was pretty hilarious i have to admit, and i hadn't seen matrix 2 yet.

although silvio had just seen it for the nth time the other night, he was willing to watch it again. ej, a friend and employee at invasiv, came over to watch with us. i went home around midnight. it was still sprinkling.

****

saturday morning, scott got to town. i slept a bit while he went to get food. he was energized like i had been after my flight in the previous morning. the lack of sleep had caught up with me, however, and i needed more rest.

we decided to meet up later at the deitch projects for ryan mcginness' show. i got there around 2; souris and silvio were already there. a couple passed by us and i thought it was russell wong. he's the half chinese, half swedish actor from joy luck club and new jack city, among other films. souris, of course, had to yell his name, and of course he turned around. souris hid, i looked the other direction, and silvio looked at russell wong. he he pretty funny.

while we were waiting for scott, i mentioned that scott had a friend in ny named young kim. the small world that it is, souris and silvio are good friends with young and jussara, young's girlfriend. jussara is a clothes designer. scott and i actually stopped by her place today, which is in the meat packing district.

wook, david, elena, and janetti arrived shortly after 2 and it was nice to meet the latter and good to see the former. elena is david's girlfriend. janetti is elena's younger sister.

ryan's show was amazing. i will have a better display of the photos shortly.

we went to the other deitch gallery to see the yoko ono show. it was good, but not great. we went to this other gallery after that, where the artist did some interesting stuff with shadows.

we had dinner reservations at blue ribbon at 4.15. young joined us for a bit. there were 7 of us in all. we didn't get out of there until nearly 8. after dinner we walked down to schiller's liquor bar, but didn't stay. i didn't realize that it was owned by the same people who did pastis. it was a scene. we went to 17 home instead and hung out there for several drinks. wook met up with us there. we also ran into jamal, a friend of souris and silvio's, who spins there.

after a few hours we hit another bar called the hole. it is the new, hip unknown bar. it was dark and had ratty furniture, but i guess that's new york for you. chloe sevigny was sitting at the bar alone. i noticed her when i got drinks. scott was drunk enough to talk to her for a while.

by 2, we were hungry again and wook, scott, silvio, souris, and i went to get shabu shabu. david and elena had gone home to sleep. we were going to stormking the next day and david was the driver.

scott didn't remember going to shabu shabu the next day. i don't remember much about the night either. i guess i was babbling.

note - NO presentation setup yet ... just file directory

saturday night

stormking